I should've come back like 2 weeks ago... Having a depressiv..
Added 2024-06-20 21:12:11 +0000 UTCI should've come back like 2 weeks ago... Having a depressive phase is one thing, but it seems to take me the same amount of time to build up some courage to come back. I feel quite ashamed of my inability to maintain my energy levels over a longer period of time. For me, things just build up, and then I have a phase where I just can't get out of bed for a long time.
I get along with my mom's boyfriend fairly well, but he has alcohol problems, which makes him forgetful and impulsive at times. Sadly, there was a manufacturing problem, and he has to fix a potential 150k€+ rust problem if it can't be fixed, and he handles stress very badly.
I was already feeling a bit down when I overheard him venting while being dr'unk and he said some quite hurtful things about me (he already apologized multiple times and feels very bad about his outburst). That was the icing on top, which made me depressed, so yeah... a lot of small things accumulated, and then that, and I'm back in my world of low energy and a foggy brain, and then I felt guilty for not being active here. It took me a while to come back.
Sorry for being gone for so long and making you read through all this rambling 🥰
On a side note, I've been distracting myself with binge-watching van build videos and designing my own van, as I'd love to travel around Europe next year. Of course, I need extra storage for lingerie, etc 😁
